How to Have an Online Detox

As I mentioned in my Where Have I Been? post, I had to do a big online detox for the sake of my mental health. In this post I'm not going to delve into what caused me to take this action, this post is designed to help others do the same.

I initially was just going to take one week off. I had done this in October 2019, I was feeling triggered by certain posts online so came off without warning. I felt so much better, and had a clearer head after doing this, that I still have changed the way I use social media to this day. I just had not done enough. Since last year, I turned off notifications from social media apps so that when I pick up my phone I'm not bombarded with notifications; I find it sometimes very overwhelming.

1. Pick a duration for your detox

I have previously found that a week is a good amount of time, I just think it depends on the circumstances for the break. In both cases for me I had variations of mental/emotional breakdowns, however my most recent episode was very strong; therefore needing more time away. In the end I spent one month completely away from social media.

2. Delete all social media apps from your phone (check that you've backed up apps like WhatsApp to easily reinstall later)

For this to really work you need to delete them all. If you're worried about certain people needing to contact you, then inform them that you won't be accessible via that platform and perhaps then contact them just through text messages. Remember, that part of this is being away from your phone, so it might be good not to have it blowing up every few minutes. Pick your key people. I only let one friend know beforehand because I spoke to them the most, and saw them almost weekly. I didn't want to message everyone, because I didn't want everyone to know how much I was struggling. I didn't want questions or sympathy, I just needed time.

3. Stop news notifications

I found that the onslaught of Covid-19, Lockdown updates and US news was frying my brain. It's information that is easy to obtain within a few seconds, but I've tried to keep it all at an arms length. There's many worldwide events and movements that I'm invested in (for example Black Lives Matter and the protests in Nigeria), but I needed to fix myself before I could help and support those causes. 

4. Resist the urge to head over to social media platforms on computers or other devices 

I am the worst for procrastinating during work, and quickly opening a new tab and heading over to Twitter to scroll for 20-30 minutes, losing precious productivity. I am so happy that I have resisted this old habit, and I have been so much more productive; I spent a good week applying for 20+ jobs and researching either for jobs. 

Even after I checked my messages on my social accounts, I did a really soft return to social media. I didn't want to have a relapse straight away and be back at square one. Even now, I'm getting better at scrolling past negative and triggering posts. Not letting that energy take over my brain. I'm just about ready to come back to my activism, my heart and mind has never been as heavy as this year. I really want to try and give as much support to causes I care about, and help the fight for true equality. 

With the festive season upon us, I think it's a really important time to have an online detox. Whether that's the week over Christmas, or just the day itself. It's so damaging to compare your Christmas with others, especially when we might not be with our families at all this year. Personally, I'm either going to be offline for the whole day, or I might just post photos with Connor and his family, and our Christmas meal; nice and easy wholesome content. 

Let me know if you've done something like this before, or if you're willing to give one a go! Honestly, there's nothing like a clear social-media-free mind. You can't buy that kind of clarity.

Stay safe x

In Isolation | Day One

Before I get into this post, I just want to make it clear that the purpose of this piece is to purely write about how I feel. It's not meant to be political, or pointing blame, this is something that is currently happening in my life and I want to be able to express myself. For me, for others who have been in the same shoes, or those who just want to know what it's like.

Taken in The New Forest by Connor Cleary a few weeks before my self-isolation

It's 1am, I just finished my first break at work. I returned to the aisle I was working down, and wanted to play some music to find a new notification from the NHS Covid-19 App. My first thought was that it was just going to change our tier alert to something vague whilst they review our cases. I was actually slapped in the face with this message:

"You need to self-isolate for eight days"

I think I was just in shock at first, on a whim I sent screenshots of the message to my manager and she said I had to leave the store immediately. It's every colleagues dream to get sent home, yet I didn't want to go. I grabbed my things, clocked out and left with the promise that my pay will be covered for the shifts that fall within my isolation time. Colleagues leapt back five metres when I told them I had to self-isolate, they knew it was odd that I was leaving halfway through the shift, and as I said I was in shock. It wasn't until I got home that it really sunk in. I had been somewhere with a person who recently tested positive for Covid-19. I have to self-isolate for eight days, no work, no walks or outdoor exercise. I texted my boyfriend (who I live with) and left a note for his parents to see in the morning, because I felt I had a duty to let them know. I have no idea who this person was, where this exposure was, I am completely in the dark. 

That's when the anxiety and panic set in. My heart pounding, struggling to breathe at a normal rate, my thoughts running at a million miles an hour. Everyone was asleep, I couldn't talk to anyone about this and how I was feeling. I was alone. So many questions running wild in my mind: who was this stranger I'd been in contact with? Do I have it? Is my throat sore? What is happening?

The app literally doesn't give you any information other than when you're free to go back into the wild. I can see all the places I checked into, and I believe the app is active when I'm at work. It doesn't really help narrow it down. Whether it was from work or a restaurant, there's not much else I could've done. I wear masks when I'm supposed to, I sanitise and wash my hands like an obsessed person, but I'm relying on this infected person to have done their best. My fate rests in everyone's hands. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true. We all have to work together to protect one another, to one day become a Covid-19 free country. By refusing to wear a mask for political reasons, because it's uncomfortable or unfashionable, you're putting us all at risk. Covid-19 is our enemy and that's where the fight should be.

To make things clear, I'm not and have never been worried about myself in this scenario. I've been worried about the domino effect, if I catch the virus. I don't want my actions to cause another person ill health, or worse. It's been my ethos this whole time. 

For the next week, I will be following the guidance on self-isolating. I'm quite lucky that most of my upcoming events are online, or any errands I can pass on to someone else. The moment I realised I couldn't leave the house at all, I felt trapped. Since Lockdown 1.0 I have enjoyed going on walks, getting fresh air and getting out of the house. I wasn't planning on seeing my family over Christmas, because I just didn't think it'd be a good idea. Living separately from both of my parents adds more households, and nearly all of us in my household and my parent's households have public facing jobs. If we were able to all self-isolate before Christmas then maybe it might work, but for us that's not possible. With this new potential exposure for me, I definitely will not be seeing anyone outside of my household.

Currently, I don't think I have any symptoms but as a young person I could be asymptomatic, so I want to take precautions. I don't want to scaremonger, I just want to inform you of what it's like as a person with anxiety and mental health issues, how something like this can affect you. Also, what to expect if you are to get a self-isolation notification. 

I will most likely post mini updates on my Instagram page related to how my mental health is coping with this sudden isolation. 

I sincerely hope you are all well, and coping as best as you can in these strange times. My heart truly goes out to all of you struggling with all of the Covid-19 information, if you're shielding, isolating or working on the frontlines. I also hope you're able to have a safe and Merry Christmas. 

Please keep taking precautions as best as you can 🙏 

My Favourite Etsy Shops for Christmas Shopping | Blogmas

I think like most people, this year I really utilised Etsy and all of the amazing small businesses that have set up shop there. I'm always looking for new shops to buy from whether it's a little treat for me, or shopping for presents. There's something for everyone on Etsy. I've rounded up some of my favourite shops in time for Christmas! 

By The Seaside

This shop has actually been created by one of my close friends; Sofia. I'm so proud of her, and have loved seeing her business grow and develop. I have bought plenty of amazing scented wax melts for presents for friends and family members, there's a scent for every one and they look so cute. By The Seaside is always improving how they can be more environmentally friendly, with recyclable packaging; what's more to love?

Favourite item: Soy Wax Melts Custom Gift Box

AlicexLizzy

I found a lot of small businesses through Twitter this year, and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw AlicexLizzy's gorgeous homemade clay earrings. I love the variety of designs and sizes, I have quite small lobes and was glad to see sizes to suit me. Since finding her store several months ago I have definitely expanded my collection of clay earrings.

Favourite item: Clay Earrings Christmas Bundle

Ugly Lines Art

Again, I know the talented owner of this shop. Connor has both an Etsy shop for his uniquely hand drawn artwork, and another online shop for Football prints and accessories. I love that this shop has diverse products depending on your tastes, from sport to notable actors and my local Spinnaker Tower. 

Favourite item: The Din-Naker Tower Print 

Holly Emily Designs

I found Holly Emily Designs when browsing for presents, and I have my eye on a few items...You've got Christmas decorations, presents and products for everyday use. I'm also a sucker for personalised options on gifts, this shop has all kinds of items you can add a personal touch to.

Favourite item: Rainbow Ceramic Bauble Decoration

Dunbar Print

If you're looking for prints, I love this shop. There's a variety of memorable location prints, sassy fun quotes and even custom lyrics to jazz up your home. 

Favourite item: Met, Engaged and Married Print

Hello Marilu Studio

I found this shop when looking for Christmas decorations, and love the gorgeous baubles pictured above and found lots more interesting items. There is something for everyone whether it's Christmassy items, prints, and plant pots. 

Favourite item: Bauble Brush Lettering Craft Kit

YR Candles

This time of year is perfect to add a few new additions to your candle collection. There's nothing cosier than getting wrapped up in blankets, popping a comfort film on and having the subtle flicker of a candle with your favourite scent filling the room. This store has so many different scents that I wouldn't have thought of before. Reading on a Rainy Day is perfect for book worms and it wouldn't be Christmas without the smell of gingerbread.

Favourite item: Christmas Gingerbread Candle

Twin Moon Supply

Have a huge Disney fan in your family? This shop is your answer. Whether they've visited the Disney Parks or are major fans yet to visit, these patches and prints are perfect for them.

Favourite item: Attraction A4 Art Prints

I'd love to have some more recommendations for your favourite Etsy shops, leave them in the comments and let me know which of the above you like!

Why I haven't done christmas this year

You may have guessed what this post is about from the title. You read right, I'm not doing Christmas this year for the first time since I can remember.

I made the hard decision that I wasn't going to buy presents for anyone this year early October, because I just don't physically have the money. If you've read my recent post you'll have read that I've struggled with money since I had my first job at 17. I've tried budgeting for Christmas and failed. No matter how small the budget I simply can't afford to spend money I don't have. I went round and spoke to my family members and apologetically said I can't buy any presents; and I don't want or need any either. As well as trying to get myself out of debt I don't want my friends and family to do the same, and I genuinely don't need anything except to spend Christmas with the people I love and eat hella lot of food.

As also mentioned in my last post I am grabbing every penny I can earn as humanely possible so I'll be missing out on a lot of festive activities to stay on track to get out of my overdraft by the end of January. I've been having to get used to saying "no" and turning down invitations which has triggered my FOMO big time. Luckily I'm not the only one of my friends in a similar situation which makes me feel less alone and ashamed. It's nice to have that sense of camaraderie when you're in a bad place.

Since having my revelation about my spending habits it's proved really difficult to not spend money in a variety of situations. Whether it's buying some lunch or dinner and getting carried away with sides and extras, or receiving emails and notifications of deals/discounts and only having a "quick" look and before you know it I've created a £170 basket of stuff I just don't need. If I walk anywhere near a shop it's like I can hear it calling me. I have to physically not even look at shops, or if I'm out with friends or family I'll say to them "don't let me buy anything, I don't need it" and generally it's worked. They'll help me talk myself out of a purchase which is so helpful because I can actually talk about it out loud, whereas on my own it's a bit harder to do that.

It sounds easy, to just not spend money but actually the world revolves around it. The constant incessant adverts drawing you in and telling you what you have to buy, scrolling through social media and seeing what your peers can afford and comparing yourself to them. I think that's been part of the turning point, seeing what others have and what I don't. I want to be able to share the good news of getting my own place with my other half and going on nice holidays to have quality time together (instead of over working just to get by).

I can't say that getting through this festive season not buying anything has been easy, it's been nice for my bank balance but so hard not to get anything for anyone. I have this permanent guilt that I can't give back to all of my friends and family, and especially since everyone has said they are getting me things, despite me clearly saying I really don't want anything. I appreciate that they want to get me presents, but I really don't need anything. I'm happy with nothing, especially struggling with squeezing into my boyfriends bedroom with all of the things I've already bought over the years. I really hate feeling claustrophobic by the things I own, I keep trying to have clear outs to feel less like I'm drowning in belongings - and I'm sure Connor would appreciate me being more minimalist as well!

By not getting involved in Christmas shopping it really has made me think about the season in a less commercial way, and I'm purely excited to just spend the day with my family and Connor's. I'm going to try and start saving for next Christmas so that it's less taxing on my bank account. I hope that wherever you are at in life that you don't feel like you have to get in debt to show your friends and family that you love them.

Merry Christmas x

My Addiction

Before I get right into this, I just want to say I'm not an addict in the traditional drug or alcohol using sense. I mean I probably have potential that it could go that way, but thank goodness it never has.

photo by Connor Cleary

I believe I have an addictive personality or can be a very addictive person, I can get easily hooked on the slightest thing. I've been trying to trace back what it is that makes me want to fill this void. I didn't have much growing up, my parents worked really hard to keep a roof over my head but we didn't have a lot of luxuries (I mean compared to their childhood I had a lot more, but not on the same level as some of my peers, y'know living in big houses, parents had nice cars, holidays galore and of course just your usual luxury toys...or even having the trendiest item when it wasn't their birthday or Christmas).

If there were things I wanted they were birthday and Christmas presents, and I really appreciated them when the time came. I would only get new clothes when I grew out of them - I occasionally had "ankle swingers" at school, where you'd grown and the hem of my trousers sat above my ankles. I'm in no way knocking my parents, as previously mentioned I'm so grateful for what my parents did for me. They fought for the best childhood they could give me. This is an account of what I remember, and again a comparison of what I felt my peers had.

I think in light of not having much "stuff" when I was younger, it turned me into somewhat of a hoarder. We would go to army and navy shows and I would go to all of the stalls collecting pointless freebies just so I had things. I wasn't very good at throwing things away and often kept a very messy room (I'm still to this day trying to learn to be a tidier person). I had some pocket money each week, about £2 a week which allowed me to get my favourite magazine of which I'd usually read by the time we had done the weekly shopping. I never saved that money or had any goals to save up for things (boy do I wish I had saved it) I think I was so happy to choose what I could buy and I just wanted to spend it. I liked the feeling of spending money.

When I got my first job delivering leaflets for a supermarket, it felt so good to be able to fund my travels to see my friends and boyfriend who lived a bus and train journey away. I had begun to save up any pennies left over from public transport.

Then at 17 I got my first proper part-time job. I worked a lot of overtime to learn the protocols and how the place runs. I started saving half of my wages into a separate account - all was going swimmingly well. That is until I started to go shopping. I realised I could buy my own clothes and I always loved fashion and began making regular trips to New Look (other retailers are available). After all what's a little purchase here and there? Well, it's how my £700 savings disappeared with not much to show for where it went.

This way of life continued when I went to university, I'll also have to admit that the summer before this I was having to borrow money secretly from a close friend to get by and couldn't pay the deposit for my student house so my parents helped there. I have a lot of pride and it's very hard for me to admit when I'm struggling, because you feel like a failure when you can't look after your own money. Throughout uni I would borrow money from my parents but I'd always pay it back - this was always important to me. I needed to fulfil the illusion of being an independent young adult. Even with maintenance loans and grants it was just more money to play with. More money for going out with friends, for Primark hauls, holidays and fancy new gadgets. It really didn't take much for me to spend £50 - £100 in one sitting...multiple times.

I really took the term "retail therapy" too literally. I know that when I was younger I had underlying mental health issues that hadn't been addressed or treated and these started to get worse when I started University, sometimes living in an unstable and sometimes volatile house. In my second year I believe my spending truly peaked. I had gotten a student overdraft "just in case"...well just in case turned into everyday. Going on Amazon and ordering lots of books I'd never read, attempting to get into make up and therefor buying lots of different bits to try, becoming obsessed with Bloggers and Youtubers and buying things they recommended or buying their merchandise and products they released. I wish I had an intervention, although I know I can get extremely defensive when loved ones try and interfere sometimes, so maybe it might not have worked anyway. Maybe this was something I had to find out on my own.

I hate to admit that in the worst of my anxiety and depression before it was diagnosed and somewhat treated, I turned to playing mobile games. It started with just regular games, then it turned to story type games where you could do better and improve by doing in app purchases. I used these games as a form of escapism, and probably didn't even think that much about what I was spending on something that holds no value in real life (I mean, pick up a book if you want escapism).

I would say that 2015 and 2016 were probably the worst two years of my life. I was trying to keep up various pretences and juggling work, university work, housemates, social life, family life, both of my grandmothers passing away,  and a long term relationship...oh and not forgetting the spiralling Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Depression, with both of those in the mix I was a permanent ticking time bomb. That is a reason why I would shop for "retail therapy" on a daily basis.

In total I believe I've gotten out of debt about three times since having my overdraft, once I even put myself on a spending ban but somehow always slid back in whether it was something like car trouble that I couldn't help, or not being able to resist my shopping habits. One significant event was when my bedroom caught fire and I lost the majority of my belongings. I was trying to fix things and buy replacements for the things I'd lost. I was moving back to my mum's anyway for my third year and it felt so empty. I've never liked the feeling of emptiness and I think this made some of my shopping sky rocket, plus I really needed that dopamine hit.

I started to write this post at the beginning of the year, as I had sort of an epiphany about my behaviour - remember how earlier I was sort of in denial and wanted an intervention but wasn't sure how that would go down? Coming to terms with my spending all by myself was like the clouds clearing to reveal a clear blue sky. I couldn't believe it, it feels like you're in a trance that you can't snap out of. I was aware that I was going to be made redundant in April and I wasn't sure what I was going to do work wise so I needed to start thinking sensibly and store away money to pay for my bills and rent. I have found that I've always had enough money for my bills, so at the core I know what's important.

Of course this past year I've faltered on occasion, but I quickly came to and realised my actions. I'm not getting any younger and I need to change my spending to cater for the priorities in my life, like saving for a house, going on holidays with my boyfriend; Connor (we've not been able to go on a proper holiday together in the nearly ten years we've been together), I've got friends weddings and hen do's coming up next year and I don't want to miss out on important events like that or feel guilty spending money to go to those events.

I started a new job in October which I could have more hours than my previous job, meaning more money to sort out my financial situation. The main message that I've been trying to get into my pea sized brain is to get my head down and work hard to sort my life out. If my plan works I'll be out of debt by the end of January next year, and hopefully out of debt to my mum by the end of March for buying my car last year. I just want to wipe clean my debts and start over, so if I need work done to my car I can pay for it, and by the end of 2020 I want to have a decent sized starter pot for a house. I know it'll take a few years for this pot to grow into a substantial amount but patience is a virtue. When Connor and I get our own place it'll all be worth it and I will cherish every single room.

In essence I've realised all of the different branches of what an addiction can be. I first started to cotton on to my issues when I read a leaflet I picked up during my complimentary visit to Grosvenor Casino about gambling addictions; I never thought I'd be on the same level as someone gambling money but I really related to the points in that leaflet and it was scary. I'm trying to conquer the "oh just in case", "that's a bargain" and "why not treat yourself". I'm sorry, but I can't treat myself every single day when I've done nothing to receive a reward. I loved this post by Beth Sandland about the "treat yourself" mentality way back and definitely recommend giving it a read.

I am so close to developing the tools I need to actually grow up and be sensible with my money, and finally be out of debt for good I hope! I've even been contemplating seeking out a therapist to see every once in a while to help keep my mental health in check.

This post has been in progress for a long time and I'm so happy to finally have it out in the world, I think a lot of us can relate and probably should learn how to be more careful with money. I'm not saying to can't spend a penny at all, but we shouldn't buy things purely to be the key of our happiness.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Thank you for reading,

Saffron x

Last Minute Gift Guide Under £10

Christmas can be a very hard time, whether it's financially, family/friends related, or mental health issues. The last thing you want to be worried about is what to buy your secret Santa or a family member you've forgotten to buy for - oops.

Well, I've got some great last minute gifts for you to get just in time for the big day. You can either use this guide for stocking fillers with things you have already bought, or you can mix and match some of the items or ideas in this post. I personally would love to receive any and all of these gifts so they have my approval!

1. The Bath Lover

The Body Shop is always a go-to place for beauty products, but they also stock these small but powerful bath bombs and bubble bars for just £1.50 each. You could pop a couple of scents in their gift and still have budget leftover for another gift! They currently have Pink Grapefruit Bath Bubble*, Moringa Bath Bubble*, Coconut Bath Bubble* and Green Tea Bath Bomb* available.

2. The Classic Gift

I've always loved receiving socks for Christmas, and as an adult, I still love getting them in amongst my presents. Primark is the best place for getting all of your essential items, plain tees, underwear and PJ's. It's affordable and there are so many cute products you can buy for yourself or even as gifts!

Fluffy socks always take over my sock drawer, so I literally have to have a separate drawer just to have an easy life. I love it when Primark have packs so you can get multiple items without breaking the bank.

Black and Mixed Two Pack Fluffy Socks 

Mixed and Pink Two Pack Fluffy Socks

When looking at their gift section I love love love that they packaged these socks into boxes and adorable little sacks. It looks so sweet and would make a nice addition to any Christmas gift.

Cat Socks Gift Box

Black Candycane Gift Bag Socks 

Grey Santa Gift Bag Socks

Navy Reindeer Gift Bag Socks


3. Self Care

This past year I've dived into self-care, and I honestly believe it's helped me mentally. It feels so good when you dedicate time to you, and on top of that you might be working out, painting your nails or applying a face mask - so you get an external and internal benefit.

I found these cute items at Boux Avenue and thought it's such a good range of gifts. I treated myself to a sleep mask this year, especially for in the Summer if I want a lie in and don't want to be awoken at stupid o'clock by the sun streaming in. Honestly, the best decision I have ever made. It also helps if you have an OH like me who stays up late but you want to go to sleep without the bedroom lights keeping you up.

Koala Sleep Mask

It's an absolute essential for me to have a water bottle at the gym, and I have to have one with a straw that reaches all the way to the bottom. I find it so much easier to drink from and it's just super cute.

Eat Sleep Gym Bottle

I don't think I have to explain why I've popped in a tangle teaser, this is a godsend for any long haired goddess out there - because we're all goddesses.

Tangle Teaser 

4. The Stationary Addict

Self-confessed stationary addict and hoarder over here, these are two of WHSmith stationary items I've got my eye on. Week by week view diary's are really good to scrawl your plans and important dates in, I only ever use day by day if I actually want to write everything down from that day. Everyone should have a diary in their bag or somewhere accessible at home.

Pink 2019 Week by Week View

Little Book of Big Ideas

5. Home Comforts

I love absolutely love homeware and little things to make your home cosy. I have been generously gifted a set of Glass Flower Tealight Holder on behalf of Home Flair Decor*. It comes with two tealight candles, if like me you prefer LED candles you can find some realistic LED candles here.

They come in a lovely presentation box, and it's the perfect size to wrap up!

6. A Sprinkle of Lindt

I often forget that you can either go into a Lindt store or even online, you can put together your own selection of Lindt chocolates. Whether you know what that person likes, or you can select a variety of new flavours for them to indulge in. There's no minimum which is perfect for additional gifts or if you're shopping on a strict budget for a chocolate lover.

I hope you've found my last minute gift guide helpful, I know that I would love to receive any of these gifts. I've only recently been trying to abide by a budget for Christmas and as hard as it feels, I've noticed that I've been getting more creative with present ideas and actually getting so much more for less.

Happy holidays,

Love Saffron x

*As mentioned above I was gifted the tealight holder on behalf of Home Flair Decor, any other links in this post with an asterisk are affiliate links which means if someone buys that item through my link I can make some commission.

Why I Love This Season

When I start to feel a slight chill in the air, a small smile creeps across my face. Why is that you ask? because; layers. It means I can start the process of changing my summer wardrobe into autumn/winter. I live for jumpers.

I find even though I love nothing more than a cosy night in, in my fluffiest pyjamas, dressing gown and socks, I also find myself hunting down fun wintry activities. Oh, did I also forget to mention I love any occasion to get a knitted bobble hat out?

I've only recently been pumpkin picking and it's adorable. I went to Pickwell's Farm in Southampton and you could pick ANY size pumpkin for £2. Absolute bargain. They also have a cute shop where you can buy groceries, Pickwell products and other little independents items.

It's also motivated me to go picking for fruit when the season comes back around, plus I'd love to get back into baking and make some yummy goodies with hand-picked berries.

I really love it when Halloween comes around, I live for experimenting with makeup and trying to transform myself. I used to do drama at school, and I used to dance for several years and have this innate need sometimes to dress up, perform and feel like someone else.

Autumn is such a nice little transition into Winter, albeit in England we can still get overly warm days when we've just put on three layers expecting the worst! As soon as the 5th of November comes around I start feeling so festive. Bring out the gloves, hats and scarves and let's go see some fireworks!

Now, don't get me wrong. I do love fireworks displays and you can have some really fun ones. But, some people have been taking the cake in terms of their own fireworks at home. I've heard fireworks going off for weeks leading up to Guy Fawkes night and weeks afterwards. It's distressing for animals and children, and I even find it a distraction and hazard sometimes as a driver. I think some people need to be more considerate and use them more nearer the date.

I'm looking forward to more wintry and festive activities. I'm planning a post to share my ideas of what you can get up to, I'm looking at ones that are fairly cheap too! Christmas can be a hard time financially, but not everything has to cost loads of money.

I love it when people come together over Christmas time, it's my favourite part. Yes, it's an excuse to eat as much as you want and drink as much as you want. But, you get to see your friends and family and there are lots of fun things to do, and amazing festive menus in restaurants and cafes.

I'd love to know your favourite festive things to do, let me know in the comments.

Love Saffron x

Mrs Santa Is The Most Underrated Character In Arthur Christmas | 12 Days of Blogmas

If you hadn't read my Films To Get You In The Christmassy Mood post last year, then you won't know how mad I am about Arthur Christmas. I can literally watch this film on repeat I love it so much.

Whilst watching it three times since the beginning of the month, I never realised that Mrs Claus is the best character.

She's very subtle, you probably haven't even noticed it yourself or given it much thought.

1. Peace Treaty

This completely bypassed me the first ten times of watching Arthur Christmas, but she's looking over a treaty with Greenland?? Let alone cooking the Christmas dinner and making a mince pie for Grand Santa (of which he doesn't eat).

2. Buying her own present

She sorted her own present to give to Santa for him to give it back to her...but he's Santa? And she acts surprised. Let's not lie though, we all know at least one woman in our lives who has to do something similar to this.

3. Battling a polar bear

Mrs Santa casually comes in with a ripped coat, and drops that there was a polar bear and she handles it.

4. She is the glue holding the family together

She's supportive of all her family members, is always positive and happy. If she wasn't there the family would 100% fall apart.

5. She took a flying course

I mean why not? She's Mrs Santa a.k.a bad ass.

6. She reads the manual

I love that she reads the manual to actually figure out how to fly the ship.

Mrs Santa is just down right amazing, and needs more appreciation!

Let me know if there's anything I've missed that you noticed about Mrs Santa, she's my fave character now.

Love Saffron x

Two Years On From "Just Breathe"

Two years ago I wrote a very personal post called Just Breathe talking about my mental health experience at that time. It was Christmas Day 2015.

I was really miserable over the Christmas period which was horrible as I wanted to be happy with my family, but I was bogged down with the horrible events happening in the world, and I had recently been diagnosed with Anxiety.

At this point I'd been blogging on and off for a few years and had created previous blogs. This blog was created for me to be as open and honest as I wanted to be about a whole matter of topics. Little did I know how much I would battle with mental health issues.

I'd actually forgotten about some of the posts I wrote when I was really suffering with anxiety. When the other day I suddenly remembered that it's coming up to two years from a crucial turning point for my blog.

To set some context for Just Breathe, it was Christmas Day. I had been suffering with physical illnesses for sixth months wondering what the cause was. I was in the middle of my second year of university and was getting very stressed about assignments. And I had just figured out that my physical illnesses weren't the root of something physical. It was something wrong with my brain.

I was devastated. There was no quick cure to fix me.

So I turned to my blog, my fairly unused and un-opinionated blog, to spill my mental thoughts in the hopes to make myself better, and that whoever will be reading it as well will not feel so alone.

I felt very alone in the first few months, I didn't understand what was happening and neither did my friends or family. Eventually the more I talked about it, the more I found that there were other people around me who were the exact same. It's very strange to talk to people about your mental health, but it was so beneficial to hear what other people experienced as well.

I also want to talk about how far I've come in the past two years. There's still parts of my mental health and experiences that I don't feel comfortable talking about just yet, but the time will come. Because all I want to do is help and inform others about sensitive topics that we need to address.

I forget that sometimes a good day is being able to get out of bed and get dressed, going to any kind of social event, and let's not forget actually talking to people or having the courage to talk to people.

Or even having a super bad day and crying my eyes out, it means I'm still here and I'm still fighting.

I remember noting down moments when I felt anxious in my cognitive behavioural therapy sessions, and I found some the other day. There were things like making a phone call as I would get anxious about what to say even if it's to someone that I know.

But two years later, I answer calls even if I think it's a sales call (albeit I do still have days where I really don't want to answer the phone, even if it's someone I know). I go to social gatherings without having to do my breathing exercises on the way there and during. I've met up with complete strangers from the internet and have held really in depth conversations with them like we'd been friends for ages. I've managed to have blips of self confidence and gotten myself some unique opportunities (I just wish I had this confidence all the time).

I mentioned to someone on Twitter recently that it's good to note down the positive things that happen, even if it's that I had my favourite coffee with whipped cream on top. I used to put them in a jar with the date on, so that when I was having a bad day, or felt a little down I could pull a piece of paper out and remember what made me happy that day.

We tend to let the bad days and the bad memories define us and take over our lives. I don't want to live that way anymore, I want to remember the good instead of the bad.

Yes I've been through counselling and was discharged, and yes I don't always have anxious moments every day anymore. But it's all still there and sometimes so raw. I never know when it's going to hit me, and I can't always prepare every single situation. But I have the tools to recover and cope. I don't know if there ever will come a time when I'll have a more normal life, but for now I am handling things.

I still have bad days, weeks and months. But I have built a support system and I know when I need a break to pull myself back together. No matter what, your health is important.

As always, if you ever need to talk or ask me questions you know where to find me!

I hope you've all had a lovely Christmas where ever you are.

Love Saffron x

Christmas Tag | 12 Days of Blogmas

1. Whats Your Favourite Holiday Movie? 

I'm never very good at picking favourites! I wrote a post last year about some of my fave Christmas films but I think I'll have to say Love Actually! It's christmassy, funny and it's so clever how all the stories intertwine. If you haven't watched it please do, it's a classic!

2. What Are Your Favourite Christmas Colours? 

I think I love silver and gold, my Mum always writes cards out in these colours and there's so much wrapping paper with these colours. I guess they are quite fancy colours that I only really use at Christmas time!

3. Do You Like To Stay in Your PJs Or Dress Up For Christmas? 

I wouldn't say I dress up, but I love having Christmas pj's for Christmas Eve, and wearing suitable Christmas jumpers and/or a Santa hat.

4. What do you eat for Christmas Dinner? 

A bit of everything I think! Where my parents aren't together I go between their houses and my boyfriends. We used to rotate who I would have Christmas dinner with, but now it's sort of a free for all as it depends on who's doing what. Now that I can drive it makes things a lot easier as no one wants to drive on Christmas, but I've been dreaming of this day!

This year I'll be at my Mum's and her boyfriends house and I think we usually just have chicken or turkey with all the vegetables, roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings (the best part), stuffing and delicious gravy.

 5. Do You Open Your Presents Christmas Eve Or Christmas Morning? 

As mentioned before, where I flit between houses I get to open presents at all times of the day! Personally, I like opening stockings in the morning, then you get on with the rest of the day preparing the meal and then you open the main presents. However, this year I haven't wanted many presents, I don't really want much other than money to go towards things and gift cards, I have too many materialistic positions already.

But I'm looking forward to giving this year, I've tried to put a lot more thought into my gifts than frantically buying!

 
6. Have You Ever Built a Ginger Bread House? 

I don't think I have. I don't think I'm the biggest fan of ginger bread houses, which is odd because I love ginger flavoured things. 


7. What Do You Like To Do On Your Christmas Break? 

I wouldn't say I have a Christmas break anymore since I'm not a student. But I get a few days off work so other than having Christmas and Boxing Day with my family, I'm going to be chilling so I can prepare for the New Year and everything that I want to achieve in 2018. (Post to come soon)


8. Any Christmas Wishes? 

This reminds me of Katie's Christmas List with a Twist! I think all in all I just want to have a nice chilled Christmas with the people I love, but I want to make sure it's fully documented this year. My family aren't the greatest at getting photos and videos when we're together so this will be my mission!


9. Favourite Christmas Smell? 

Ooh, this could be a tough one. I love apple, cinnamon, gingerbread scents especially if they are spiced!


10. Favourite Christmas song? 

Again I can't pick favourites! If I had to choose one to listen to forever it'd be The Power of Love by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. I know it's not a conventional Christmas song, but it always comes out at Christmas, and it's such a chilled song. (Post to come soon on some of my other favourites)

I didn't get tagged to do this post, I thought it'd be a quirky post to add to my blogmas posts, if you want to do it to please go ahead!

Love Saffron x

The Body Shop Haul | 12 Days of Blogmas

As a convenient follow up to my first Blogmas post; The Body Shop Christmas VIP Event I thought I would show you guys what I bought!

I knew I needed to get some of the bath bombs as I'm very intrigued and they were so cute and affordable! I loved the initial scent of the Vanilla Delight and Green Tea bath bombs.

There wasn't a chance that I was going to leave the store without a personalised body butter! I would thoroughly recommend you pop in and pick your fave scent and get one printed!

If you didn't already know I'm mad about the Vanilla Chai scent and nearly have the whole collection of just that scent! I love it so much, it'll be a sad day when I run out of product.

I had already seen the bunny headband on social media, and it was the first item I picked up. I used it as soon as I got home to take my make up off, and also used it the next morning to apply make up as well. It's so handy to keep my hair out of my face so I can concentrate on removing/applying make up, or just looking cute as hell in it.

I got kindly given a little goodie bag with some samples of Body Shop products, which I can't wait to use and perhaps write little reviews, or even post on my insta stories because I'm on there almost every day (@saffronwatson_).

I'm really excited to try the Drops of Youth as I've heard so many good things already! And I'm always up for a face mask and hand cream!

I can't thank the staff at The Body Shop enough for organising the event and goodies for all of us too. I hope that you might get a few Christmas present ideas for friends or family, especially some stocking fillers (cough the bath bombs cough cough).

If you're taking part in Blogmas leave your links in the comments because I love reading people's Blogmas posts!

Next post to come the day after tomorrow!

Love Saffron x

The Body Shop Christmas VIP Event | 12 Days of Blogmas

WOO!

This is my first blogmas post! However, I'm doing 12 Days of Blogmas, because twenty four is just too much for me, and I'm going to give twelve days a good go!

This was my first event that a company has contact me first to come to a blogger event. I was very excited to see the email in my inbox and nothing was going to stop me from getting to the Chichester branch. If you haven't been to Chichester, it's a lovely quaint city with all kinds of shops!

When they opened the shop for us we were greeted with gift bags and a choice of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks (I took the non-alcoholic because I was driving). There was a lovely spread of food as well, when I spotted the gingerbread reindeer I was straight over there!

We got to have a little nose around the shop before the staff introduced themselves, what was in store for the evening and all about The Body Shop as a company. It was great to learn more about the shop's history as I knew a bit already. The Body Shop was one of the first companies to advocate cruelty free beauty through it's founder; Dame Anita Roddick in 1976. Up until recently the company was owned by L'oreal (which isn't a cruelty free brand itself), but the company has been bought by Natura Brasil, whom to my knowledge are a cruelty free company.

The staff demonstrated and talked us through some of the amazing new products they have, it was a lovely friendly and funny demonstration. We got some of the products passed around so we could have a sniff, a good look and some of the other bloggers got glittery!

I was so pleased to learn about the collaboration with House of Holland, there's amazing all in one palettes (eye shadows, highlight etc) the products look so fun!

A new product that has joined The Body Shop's bath range is BATH BOMBS. I love a good bath bomb, and they come in these tiny packets with a range of flavours and the colours are so pretty! You can see one of them in with the ducks for one of the games we could play to win prizes. I can't wait to try one of these and write a little review for you guys!

I loved the opportunity to get to know a load more products and I had a good whiff of all of the Christmas scents, and I must say that Vanilla Chai is definitely my favourite. It's a bit spicy in a Christmassy way, like cinnamon and I just can't get enough of it!

It was really a surprise to see how BIG the advent calendars were in person, I was blown away by the products you get inside them!

Also I love the amount of support that The Body Shop are giving to lots of causes, it was so lovely to read about their campaigns and to also support them through purchasing their products, and knowing that money is going to a good place.

One of my favourite things to take away from the evening was a personalised body butter, there are lots of designs to choose from. I knew I needed the "Forever Against Animal Testing"!

I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to all of The Body Shop staff for an amazing evening and a big thank you to James for emailing me and inviting me to the event! I had an amazing time and it was great to see my fellow blogger friends again; Mike, Sophie and Charlie.

Let me know what products you're loving at the moment or would love to try!

As always,

Love Saffron x